Jokes about Accountants being Dumb

Accounting Fun > Accountant Jokes > Dumb Accountants

Two Accountants at a Bar
A guy in a bar leans over to the guy next to him and says, “Want to hear an accountant joke?”
The guy next to him replies, “Well, before you tell that joke, you should know that I’m 6 feet tall, 200 pounds, and I’m an accountant. And the guy sitting next to me is 6’2″ tall, 225 pounds, and he’s an accountant. Now, do you still want to tell that joke?”
The first guy says, “No, I don’t want to have to explain it two times.”

The Accounting Convention
“Accountants Are Not Stupid” Convention

The host of the show in the stadium says “We are all here today to prove to the world that Accountants are not stupid. Can I have a volunteer?” One Accountant steps up. The host says to him “What is 15 plus 15?” After 15 or 20 seconds he says “Eighteen.”

Obviously everyone is a little disappointed. Then 80,000 Accountants start cheering “Give him another chance, give him another chance.” The host says “Well since we’ve gone to the trouble of getting 80,000 of you here and the world wide press, I guess we can give him another chance.”

So he says “What is 5 plus 5?” After nearly 30 seconds he eventually says “Ninety?” The host sighs - everyone is crestfallen and the Accountants starts crying and 80,000 accountants start yelling “Give him another chance, give him another chance.”

The host, unsure whether or not he is doing more harm than damage, eventually says “Ok! One more chance. What is 2 plus 2?” The accountant closes his eyes and after a whole minute eventually says “Four.”

Around the stadium 80,000 accountants start yelling “Give him another chance, give him another chance.”

Brain Disease
The Doctor told the CPA Senior Manager of an accounting firm that he had a terrible brain disease. The only course of action was to remove a section of the brain. The CPA asked,”Doc, what will happen to my career if you remove a part of my brain?”
The Doc responded, “If I remove a quarter of your brain, you will no longer be able to operate as a partner of the firm. You will only be qualified to be a manager. If I have to remove 1/2 of the brain, you will only be qualified to be a senior accountant. If I remove 3/4 of the brain you will only be qualified to be a staff accounant. However, if I remove your entire brain, there is good news and bad news.”
The CPA inquired, “What is the good news?”
Doc said, “medical science has come such a long way, we are able to successfully remove the entire brain and surprisingly, we can fill the open cavity with dung and you will be able to continue your life.”
The CPA exclaimed, “If that is the good news, what on earth is the bad news?”
Doc said, “You will no longer be qualifed to be a staff accountant, but you will finally be qualified to be a partner in the firm!”

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